Teenage Mother

     Teenage mother. Young mother. Babies having babies.

     WHAT DOES THAT ALL MEAN?

What age is okay to have a baby?

I had my daughter when I was 19 years old, I got pregnant with her when I was 18. I was on my way to getting engaged, but with him not having "popped" the question yet, I was non the less: not married. He was 20 when our daughter was born, a few months shy of turning 21. While our daughter wasn't planned, we wanted her. She was our daughter, a part of both of us. She needed us to strive. We where living with my mother and her boyfriend, and where lucky enough that they let us stay there until we could afford our own place. My husband worked, I was working and about to start school. But even though we where providing for our daughter growing inside me, it didn't stop the looks or comments. The comments where the worse. I remember when I was still newly pregnant and barely showing, I was working at Macy's and an employee found out I was pregnant her first comment was "oh babies having babies". She looked around as if she was looking for others to agree with her, I wanted to run and cry. It was hurtful and uncalled for. Luckily my coworkers backed me up, they hardly knew me but still stuck up for me. One of the coworkers told the other lady "shes 18, shes engaged, shes working and doing something with her life. shes not a baby!" the other lady replied with "yes but shes so young, 18, she shouldn't be having a baby!" to that a much other lady said "I had my first baby when I was 19, that's how old she will be when she gives birth. I wasn't a baby when I had my first child. She knows what shes doing and doesn't need rude comments from someone like you".... I could have jumped for joy and hugged her tight.

So that goes to my original question, what age is okay to have a baby? I found out that others feel 19 is too young.What about 22? 24? 30? Or when does it become too old to have a baby? 35? 40? 45? When is the perfect time frame to have a baby? how long do you have to be married for in order for America to feel its okay you are giving birth to your child.

I am currently struggling with this question. My husband and I want to have another baby. But just telling a few friends this, we have gotten negative feed back. I am 22 years old and my husband is 23. our daughter is 2 1/2 (three in June). I have had friends tell me, you are young just wait. Even as far as "marriage at a young age never last, especially if you have a kid early." Now that one hurt really bad. I already had a child and was married. Was she saying my marriage is already doomed so don't add another kid to the mix? I want my children to be close in age. 3 or 4 years seem like a perfect age gap. Our daughter will be in school and still young enough to enjoy her siblings younger years and be able to grow up together. If I wait till I am say 27 to have our second, my daughter will be 8 years old, I don't want that big of an age gap. Why doesn't anyone see that's not what we want. We already have a child, we can provide for our family, we are ready! But society just can't accept this. I feel like it will follow me no matter how old I am. This post may suggest that it does bother me, but it doesn't, just the hurtful comments. I guess what I am saying is, before you judge a book by its cover, find out what the book's story is. You might just find that what you are thinking is completely wrong and hurtful. Have a little faith in younger moms, all they need is support and love JUST LIKE YOU DID.